Tu Felix Austria

Picture it: Austria, 2017. An aging BMW is moving through the autumn chill, past fallow fields and silent, mist-shrouded mountains. Having left the noisy Autobahn with its monotonous roar of traffic behind, the sturdy, faithful vehicle is navigating ever narrower roads, climbing, climbing. A couple of gentle eyed cows with heavy bells around their necks give the passerby a glance before returning to their task of nibbling at the tired grass. Here and there a brightly colored leaf still clings defiantly to a barren branch, but as the BMW draws near its destination, the brooding shapes of pine and spruce dominate the landscape with their rich, dark greens. Then the teenager stretched out sidelong in the back of the car, one long leg languidly propped against the passenger seat, breaks the companionable silence with the age old question dreaded by parents far and wide.

“Are we there yet?”

Brenner Pass


“Not quite my darling, not quite”

“That’s what I get for asking that question, right?”

“She said darling. We’re not at DEFCON sweetheart yet” pipes up the sister teen in the passenger seat, swatting away a playful foot poking into her shoulder.

“Speaking of threat levels. If we don’t find coffee for mother soon, we’ll have a Situation.”

“Mountains to mole hills” nods the elder sagely “with extra craters and blue smoke. Oh look, more cows!”

“I hear they don’t explode well. Say, those 5 seconds when I had cell reception earlier, I found a cafe. About 4 klicks southwest-ish”

“Which would put us…”

“2 o’clock! Now now NOW!” with the honed reflexes of the military child, younger teen barks the order and braces herself against long suffering sister’s shoulder, split seconds before the vehicle decelerates rapidly and swerves right.

“Impeccable timing,” proud mother declares as the BMW coasts towards a small parking lot in front of a – Google be Praised – charming little Viennese-style Kaffeehaus.

“Tu Felix Austria,” nods the youngling in the back “even though they have no kangaroos.”

“No what now?”

“Oh, don’t worry. I took a picture.”





15 thoughts on “Tu Felix Austria

  1. Very well. This really happened! I was being asked about Panama at the ER and one of the nurses asked “isn’t that where they have that Suez Canal?” I bet Austrians hear that quite a bit. Austria Aliens 👽

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, my. It’s almost painful, isn’t it? Well, at least she got the ‘Canal” part right…

      To be honest, we took the sticker as a bit of clever Austrian humor -it never occurred to either the girls or me that anyone could seriously look for marsupials in the Alps. Then we remembered some of the hide-bound people back home.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. “Speaking of threat levels. If we don’t find coffee for mother soon, we’ll have a Situation.”

    Hahahahaha!!! 🤣 Oh oh. Does Mom have a trigger? A caffeine-coffee-bean Situation Trigger!? 😉 How many to deescalate the “Situation”? ☕️? ☕️☕️? 🏺 A pot or barrel?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahahaha!!! As we often state in the Alternative lifestyles… “In the home, if the women/Moms aren’t happy, NO ONE is happy.” And I repeat that with great reverance and reference to A face that launched 1,000 ships and ‘Women are truly life’s most beautiful creatures; they are the honey and nectar of the gods. They not only rock the cradle, but are the cradle of life.‘ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I love this. There is nothing better than a road trip, where interesting things always happen. I love the banter between the children, the conversations about different things they notice, and the comment: “Speaking of threat levels. If we don’t find coffee for mother soon, we’ll have a Situation.” So funny! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True, interesting things are almost guaranteed. From calamities to unexpected marvels, and everything in between.
      I could write a book – “Road Trips with Teens ~ a Survival Guide” 😋

      Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad you liked it!


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